Thursday, October 21, 2010

Today Sucked

Everything I did today hurt. Everything reminded me of the hollow place my dad used to fill. Hurt because my dad wasn't there to call on the phone. Hurt because I know I can't touch him or hear his voice again in this life. Hurt because I know in my heart of hearts, he doesn't want me to be sad.

But I am anyway.

And I'll start all over again tomorrow morning, trying to find my way in a world without my dad in it.

8 comments:

Liz said...

I'm sorry Amber... that does "suck". Hang in there and know there are people who love you all over the world!! (I'll try calling again next week when kids are back in school.)

Green Eyed Girl said...

Sending love and hugs to you!

Jeni said...

Yes I agree Amber that does suck! I have been very lucky and have not had to really deal with death yet. So I have no words of wisdom or quite know what a friend should say. But I think all that hurt means you had a wonderful dad...if not it wouldn't hurt so bad.

Rosie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm a friend of April's from teaching days... please pass my condolences along to her also.

Jessica said...

I think it would really suck if I couldn't call my dad whenever I wanted. Just the thought sucks. The reality would more than suck.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart hurts thinking about it. Hugs and chocolate to you.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry Amber. Sending you love and prayers.

Tiggeriffic said...

My Mom and Dad are gone now and yes it's not nice. But I think what hurt the most is when my son was killed in a auto accident at age 33. . I realy miss him terribly. He was my oldest of 4 children. But the true beauty of all of this was he had a relationship with God and so did my Mom and Dad. I know where they are: in the loving arms of Jesus and I will see them again another day. This is my stronghold and how I get on with my day. Sorry to hear about your Dad,,I know what it's like and it's NOT nice. Have a great day...

Anonymous said...

My day sucked, too. I miss him so much, Amber. I know that our relationships with him were very different, but I feel the same "emptiness" and complete loss. I love you and am here for you. I know that it's hard to pick up the phone when your day is so "poop-y", but we've cried together over this situation enough to know that it's at least a little bit soothing to share that hurt with each other. My phone is on.... call me.

XOXOX Paige